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Each sip is a toast (literally) to your doughy lineage — golden-brown pride served piping hot.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\t15 oz ceramic mug — built for caffeine, chaos, and coping\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tGloss finish that says “I’m fine” even when you’re clearly not\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tDishwasher \u0026amp; microwave safe, because trauma shouldn’t be hand-washed\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tSLAMswan logo on the back — for plausible deniability when HR walks by\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWhether you’re buttering toast or unpacking family baggage, this mug’s for you.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n☕️ Healing’s expensive, but humor’s refillable.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe yeast you can do is laugh about it…\u003cbr\u003e\n","brand":"SLAMswan","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48250989969648,"sku":"7215514_4830","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/2710\/8080\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-15-oz-handle-on-left-690c21759a8e2.jpg?v=1762402692"},{"product_id":"illuminaughty","title":"Illuminaughty","description":"Finally, enlightenment you can sip.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Illuminaughty Mug is part pole-fitness, part philosophy degree, and entirely poor judgment served hot. 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Finished with the SLAMswan micro-signature beneath the artwork for that “artist who probably shouldn’t be trusted with a credit card” energy.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMade from our upgraded premium cotton, it’s soft enough to lounge in and structured enough to wear while delivering ultimatums.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n⸻\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeatures\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tPremium upgraded cotton — soft, clean, and ready for drama\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tFull front graphic: honey badger on the hunt (for what he’s owed)\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tSLAMswan micro-logo signature for boutique credibility\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tTag-free comfort for maximum menace\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tPrinted in limited runs because patience is not this badger’s virtue\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n⸻\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCare\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMachine wash cold.\u003cbr\u003e\nTumble dry low.\u003cbr\u003e\nHandle like a debt collector handles excuses.\u003cbr\u003e\n","brand":"SLAMswan","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":48312310857968,"sku":"8035376_12756","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":48312310890736,"sku":"8035376_12757","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":48312310923504,"sku":"8035376_12758","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":48312310956272,"sku":"8035376_12759","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":48312310989040,"sku":"8035376_12760","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brick Red \/ S","offer_id":48312311021808,"sku":"8035376_12768","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brick Red \/ M","offer_id":48312311054576,"sku":"8035376_12769","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brick Red \/ L","offer_id":48312311087344,"sku":"8035376_12770","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brick Red \/ XL","offer_id":48312311120112,"sku":"8035376_12771","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brick Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":48312311152880,"sku":"8035376_12772","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Agave \/ S","offer_id":48312311185648,"sku":"8035376_12774","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Agave \/ M","offer_id":48312311218416,"sku":"8035376_12775","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Agave \/ L","offer_id":48312311251184,"sku":"8035376_12776","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Agave \/ XL","offer_id":48312311283952,"sku":"8035376_12777","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Agave \/ 2XL","offer_id":48312311316720,"sku":"8035376_12778","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48312311349488,"sku":"8035376_12761","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48312311382256,"sku":"8035376_12762","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48312311415024,"sku":"8035376_12763","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48312311447792,"sku":"8035376_12764","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48312311480560,"sku":"8035376_12765","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/2710\/8080\/files\/mens-premium-heavyweight-tee-white-front-691e8a1530e33.jpg?v=1763609126"},{"product_id":"black-labs-matter-slamswan-canine-couture-collection","title":"Black Labs Matter — SLAMswan Canine Couture Collection","description":"High Fashion. Low IQ. Big Love for Black Labs.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSome statements are jokes.\u003cbr\u003e\nSome statements are facts.\u003cbr\u003e\nThis one is both — and neither — and absolutely true all at once.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Black Labs Matter Tee is our love letter to the most criminally underrated dogs in the universe. While the world lines up for yellow labs, chocolate labs, and golden retrievers, black labs sit in shelters longer than any other Lab or retriever variety — overlooked, under-hyped, and completely undeserving of it.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFront and center on this tee is Leia — SLAMswan’s real-life rescue mutt, professional heart-melter, and the only creature alive who could make this shirt feel like both a joke and a manifesto. A true queen. A shelter graduate. A walking reminder that the best dogs don’t always get the spotlight… but they damn well should.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis design blends satirical streetwear with an unexpectedly sincere tribute: a stylish rally cry for every Black Lab still waiting for their forever home — and every human who knows the world hasn’t been giving them their due.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPremium cotton. Front print. 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While everyone drools over yellow labs, chocolate labs, and golden retrievers, black labs sit in shelters longer than any other retriever variety. And for what? They’re gorgeous. They’re goofy. They’re loyal. They’re literal shadow-angels.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFront and center is Leia — SLAMswan’s real rescue girl and the world’s most perfect black lab model. This drop is a love letter to her, and to every shelter pup still waiting for the home they deserve.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPrinted on our premium women’s crop silhouette: clean lines, soft handfeel, and a modern boxy cut that flatters without trying too hard. High fashion. Low IQ. 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If you want a more relaxed fit through the chest and midsection, consider going two sizes up.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e Each polo is printed to order, so please double-check the size guide before checking out.\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e Details:\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e * Athletic slim-fit performance polo - 95% polyester, 5% spandex\u003cbr\u003e * Lightweight feel made for golf, travel, and warm-weather chaos\u003cbr\u003e * All-over print design\u003cbr\u003e * Classic collar and button placket\u003cbr\u003e * GOLFswan by SLAMswan\u003cbr\u003e * High Fashion. Low IQ.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SLAMswan","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":50050729410800,"sku":"3129221_20196","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":50050729443568,"sku":"3129221_20198","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":50050729476336,"sku":"3129221_20200","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":50050729509104,"sku":"3129221_20202","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":50050729541872,"sku":"3129221_20204","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":50050729574640,"sku":"3129221_20206","price":53.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/2710\/8080\/files\/mens-all-over-print-slim-fit-polo-shirt-white-back-6a5a95b8443d9.jpg?v=1784321476"},{"product_id":"golf-swinger-black-bone","title":"“Golf Swinger” – Black \u0026 Bone Performance Polo","description":"\u003cp\u003ePart country club. 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If you want a more relaxed fit through the chest and midsection, consider going two sizes up.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e Each polo is printed to order, so please double-check the size guide before checking out.\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e Details:\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e * Athletic slim-fit performance polo - 95% polyester, 5% spandex\u003cbr\u003e * Lightweight feel made for golf, travel, and warm-weather chaos\u003cbr\u003e * All-over print design\u003cbr\u003e * Classic collar and button placket\u003cbr\u003e * GOLFswan by SLAMswan\u003cbr\u003e * High Fashion. Low IQ.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SLAMswan","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":50050731245808,"sku":"3031022_20195","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":50050731278576,"sku":"3031022_20197","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":50050731311344,"sku":"3031022_20199","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":50050731344112,"sku":"3031022_20201","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":50050731376880,"sku":"3031022_20203","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":50050731409648,"sku":"3031022_20205","price":53.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/2710\/8080\/files\/mens-all-over-print-slim-fit-polo-shirt-black-back-6a5a96c49a457.jpg?v=1784321756"},{"product_id":"yes-caddy-golfswan-tee","title":"“Yes Caddy” - GOLFswan Tee","description":"For the golfer who believes service should be attentive, obedient, and maybe a little concerned.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Yes Caddy tee brings country club etiquette to a much darker corner of the clubhouse. Vintage golf illustration meets leather-adjacent obedience, creating the perfect uniform for questionable foursomes and players who prefer their course management with a safe word.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSoft, clean, and wildly inappropriate once the second read kicks in.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDetails\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n* Vintage-inspired golf graphic\u003cbr\u003e\n* Soft premium tee feel\u003cbr\u003e\n* Perfect for golf trips, cart-path confessions, and making eye contact with the starter for too long\u003cbr\u003e\n* Country club polish. Dungeon-adjacent energy.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nClub selection is a lifestyle.","brand":"SLAMswan","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50087312097520,"sku":"1464213_15114","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50087312130288,"sku":"1464213_15115","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50087312163056,"sku":"1464213_15116","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50087312195824,"sku":"1464213_15117","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50087312228592,"sku":"1464213_15118","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50087312261360,"sku":"1464213_16326","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ S","offer_id":50087312294128,"sku":"1464213_16523","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ M","offer_id":50087312326896,"sku":"1464213_16524","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":50087312359664,"sku":"1464213_16525","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":50087312392432,"sku":"1464213_16526","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":50087312425200,"sku":"1464213_16527","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":50087312457968,"sku":"1464213_16528","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50087312490736,"sku":"1464213_15124","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50087312523504,"sku":"1464213_15125","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50087312556272,"sku":"1464213_15126","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50087312589040,"sku":"1464213_15127","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50087312621808,"sku":"1464213_15128","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":50087312654576,"sku":"1464213_16335","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/2710\/8080\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-black-front-and-back-6a63015e922d0.jpg?v=1784873328"},{"product_id":"golfswan-golf-towel","title":"GOLFswan Golf Towel","description":"For wiping down clubs, balls, and whatever dignity survived the front nine.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe GOLFswan Golf Towel brings vintage country club energy to your bag with a clean crossed-club graphic, classic green script, and just a touch of that SLAMswan DNA.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nClip it on, keep it visible, and let the foursome know your short game may be questionable — but your accessories are dialed.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDetails\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n* Lightweight golf towel with metal grommet and ring\u003cbr\u003e\n* Vintage GOLFswan graphic\u003cbr\u003e\n* Easy clip-on design for your golf bag\u003cbr\u003e\n* Perfect for clubs, balls, grips, and failure trying to play the tips…","brand":"SLAMswan","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50093984284912,"sku":"4114439_44137","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/2710\/8080\/files\/golf-towel-16x24-front-6a6509d517625.jpg?v=1785006567"},{"product_id":"golfswan-logo-tee","title":"GOLFswan Logo Tee","description":"The flagship mark for golfers with clean taste and questionable judgment.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe GOLFswan Logo Tee keeps it classic: crossed clubs, vintage green script, and the official insignia of SLAMswan’s least-behaved country club division. No punchline required — just a clean golf graphic that says you’re here for birdies, bogeys, and deeply unserious foursomes. 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